It is a known fact that bullying is a major growing epidemic in our schools and if left unchecked, could turn into a tragedy.  A lot has been done by groups and organizations to make sure the victims of bullying are protected in our schools, but in our efforts to create safer schools, we tend to focus more on the consequences of bullying rather than it’s genesis.

Trying to understand what motivates a bully to act out is a key component to ending the cycle of bullying before it begins. This approach could be the bedrock for real social change on how we view, and handle bullying cases.  Some anti-bullying programs bombard students with how to – bullet points that instruct students with the necessary steps to take when faced by a bully. We seem to view the bully as an ambiguous personality who cannot be connected to us. Truth is, most teens do not like to be told what to do, they feel very capable to make their own decisions. Further more in any school where a  there is a bully, there is a parent who can not believe that their child is capable of bullying a fellow classmate. Herein lies a conundrum, a bully who does not like to be told what to do, and a parent who does not believe their child is a bully.

So I set out to create a guide that would willfully engage teachers as well as their students.  Using the fiction novel “Patch” as a source material, teachers are able to to engage the students on the causes and effects of bullying. The Patch guide is not a how to-guide but a fictional case study that offers students and teachers a great learning experience on how bullying manifests itself.  Throughout my entire experience, I noticed the common motivation behind bullying is fear. As a victim, I was afraid to fight for what I knew was right, and as a bully, I feared losing the tight grip of power I held. It is this fear that keeps things at status quo and continues the cycle. This same basic principle plays out in today’s schools. Bullying is almost always a direct or indirect byproduct of “fear.” Fear of being labeled. Fear of being uncool. Fear of being seen as weak. Most if not all instances of bullying are rooted in some sort of fear. Sadly, it is this fear that prevents kids from living a free life, where they are free to be different, to be gay, to love a certain kind of music or activity, to be themselves.

The guide teaches students to pay close attention to their own emotions and appreciate their  individual qualities without fear. By learning to appreciate one’s self one can learn to appreciate others. Constant student-teacher interaction would help teachers overcome the dreaded “no snitching” or “code of silence” among students and spot signs of a potential victim/bully. In the end, we would like students to learn how to make good responsible decisions on their own merit. Our perspective on the vice will not be limited to a victim and a bully, but a real person/student making good decisions on a day to day basis.  Respecting other students should not just be a requirement, but a  way of life. This new approach would in effect put an end to bullying before it manifests.

For any schools or organization that would like a copy of the book and guide please fell free to contact me here